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How TV Ruined My Sex Life and a Bunch of Other Messed Up Misadventures
Vinny Smith's new short story collection is now available on Lulu.com, Amazon.com and Barnesandnoble.com. This book is for anyone who enjoys a little sex humor and isn't easily offended. For fans of David Sedaris, Chelsea Handler and Carl Hiassen.
In this sometimes dark yet always fun and entertaining collection of short stories you will meet people from all walks of life that trip and fall when it comes to sex and relationships. Among the people you'll meet is the hopeless TV addict who must choose between having sex with the hottest girl in school or watching the Friday cliffhanger of his favorite soap opera. There's the ad executive who, after bringing his wife to a nude beach, realizes he should have been more careful what he wished for. And then there's poor Gavin Thompson whose crush on his lesbian best friend leads to an embarrassing revelation of a strange fetish.
Have a good laugh as you watch these people trip and fall and be glad it's not you.
Acclaim for the Stories of
How TV Ruined My Sex Life and a Bunch of Other Messed Up Misadventures
How TV Ruined My Sex Life
I think your story is the "bomb!" – Daniel Patrick McCormick
It was hysterically funny. And entertaining. And readable. You have a great voice and a great style
– Marsha Koretzky
First Night Back
LOL!! An elderly woman sitting near me on the beach asked what I was reading that was so funny. “Nothing,” I replied, hoping she’d go away as I wiped the tears from my eyes – James Barrett
The Day I Created the Naked Monster
The writing here is definitely first class – James Barrett
I read it once and smiled my way all thru it. I read it a second time and wished it (the story!!) were longer – Sita Bahskar
The Airport Reading Material Incident
A bit of light-hearted fun, with a serious undercurrent of political statement on the current moral climate… - Guy Koehler
Some lines are so good they’re practically quotable… - Daniel S. Yu
The Dog Don’t Lie
Your story is the first one in quite a while that I actually wanted to finish… It’s well written, it’s funny, it’s enjoyable – Maly Misio
The Russian Bride
Man, I have been laughing for the past half an hour! – Juan Antonio Perez Gamez
The Hair Bag
You set the tone of the story from the very first sentence, and I loved the stylistic way in which it was presented. I laughed several times at the clever set of circumstances you devised. Fun! Fun! Fun! - Anonymous, Literotica.com
The Injured Pet Project
This little devil belongs to my girlfriend and I. He is a Brussels Griffon named Murphy (the same breed as Verdell from the movie "As Good As it Gets").
Several months ago we had him with us on vacation in a rented
house on Catalina Island that he had been to many times. While we
were out to dinner, he went upstairs, found a window with a broken screen and decided that he was going to join us at any cost.
We returned from dinner to find people in front of our house waiting to tell us that he had jumped out, broken his leg and had been taken by the Humane Society to the local vet. The vet, however, was off the island on vacation so his nurse wrapped up the leg and gave him some pain meds. (Many thanks again to the Humane Society, the kind nurse and all the other people who helped us that night). We caught the next (and last) boat off the island and rushed him to the hospital where we were told the break was severe and would require delicate surgery on his tiny bones.
We were then told that we would need to pay several thousand
dollars up front before they would perform the surgery. Luckily we
had the money but it was every cent we had in savings. We didn't care though, because we would do absolutely anything for Murphy.
Three months later, thanks to the excellent staff at the West L.A. VCA Hospital, he is back to being the happy, scrappy little guy he was before.
The whole thing got me thinking about what happens to a pet
when you don't have the money. Usually one of two things. First is
they may possibly be put to sleep depending on age and a few other things or second, they will be healed and then put up for adoption.
Another thing that got me thinking was that every day when we would take Murphy out for a walk with his cast on, it was unbelievable how much positive attention he would garner. I didn't think it was possible for this dog to get any cuter.
The bottom line is that I would hate for someone to lose their beloved pet because of an unfortunate accident. What I am wanting to do is put together a calandar and coffee table book featuring photos of pets on the road to recovery and use the proceeds as a grant to help out people and their pets in similar situations.
At this point I'm looking for submissions for this project. If anyone has photos of their pet like the ones above or if you live in southern California and would like us to take the photo please e-mail me at vinny@honkytonkjunkie.com. 100% of the proceeds will go toward this purpose.
