It’s hard to make a list of companies in this category and prioritize them because they are all equally evil so here they are in no particular order.

Live Nation Entertainment/Ticketmaster.  You can’t go to a big concert or show of any kind in this country without getting your tickets through them. I can’t believe these people get away with charging a Service Fee, a Processing Fee, a Building Facility Fee and a Shipping Charge/ E-Ticket Convenience Charge/Will Call Charge—all for one ticket/order.  In some cases this has added up to 50% of the actual ticket price.  You have no choice, you have to pay it. Even buying your tickets at the actual venue will save you money.  This is a monopoly of the worst kind and I refuse to participate.  These days I only attend small intimate events that have no affiliation with Live Nation.  I will live on just fine if I miss the next Jonas Brothers stadium tour.

Wal-Mart/Best Buy/Target.  If you go to any of these stores looking for CD’s that are anything but current Top 10 or Greatest Hits packages, you’re out of luck.  I miss the small mom and pop record shops that catered to their customers. I even miss the chains like Tower and Virgin.  They were big companies also but at least they specialized in music.  I couldn’t go in there and buy a dishwasher or a new pack of underwear along with the umpteenth box set of the same old 20-year-old Garth Brooks songs.  Don’t go there.  Search out the last of the little guys for your music fix, you’ll get better service and you’ll get more variety.  Another great alternative is to go straight to the source—the artists themselves.  Most artists now have their own websites with their music for sale.  You’ll be able to cut out the middle man and better support the artists.

AM/FM/SiriusXM. AM/FM is obvious but why pick on satellite radio, you ask?  SiriusXM is a failing company which means that they will ultimately disappoint you when they realize that their business model sucks and they can no longer support so many niche stations.  I know, I know, you love Willie’s Place on XM and Howard Stern on Sirius, but I guarantee they will turn up somewhere else when SiriusXM goes under (and with their stock trading at 86 cents, it’s not far off). You shouldn't have to pay for radio and with internet radio like live365.com and the availability of WiFi in cars, it won’t be long before that is what we’re all listening to.

iTunes/Rhapsody/Amazon.com.  This is a bit hypocritical since I use iTunes a lot, though that’s changing.  My biggest beef with iTunes is that you can’t search by a sub-genre like say, Honky Tonk.  On top of that, a lot of their music is miscategorized because they either aren’t specific enough or the people doing the categorizing have their heads up their asses.  In any event, if you don’t know the specific name of someone to search for, you’re not likely to find it.  CDBaby, by contrast has 27 sub-genres of country.  If I only want to look for Bakersfield Sound or Honky Tonk, they have those categories.  I’ve discovered so much great music by going to CDBaby.  For real country you should also try buckatune.net.  I include Amazon for the same reason—lack of a decent search function.  You need to have a specific name.  Rhapsody is included because they are owned by my arch enemy, Viacom, or in other words, MTV.  See my earlier articles to experience my true feelings toward them.

Viacom/MTV.  I have beat the MTV horse to death so let me just suggest Great American Country for your music video fix and RFD-TV for general country music-related TV programming.  These are not as widely available but maybe if you contact your local cable company and bitch about it, these channels will be available in more homes. 

The Big Record Companies.  Big record companies put out big crap.  And what do they do for an artist anymore that they can’t do for themselves?  Get them onto the shelves at Wal-Mart and Best Buy?  Big deal.  You can probably get into the smaller record stores on your own or with the help of a smaller label such as Heart of Texas, Cow Island or Stag Records.  Of course there are also about a thousand ways to promote your work on the internet.  Sure a big company might provide you with some tour support but you have to pay that back so you might as well go off and live or die by your own actions.

The bottom line here is support the little guy whenever you can and voice your opinion with your wallet.  Life will be much better for everyone if these big companies would just go away and die.

I recently moved into a new house and at the same time decided that I needed to change my TV delivery system as well.  I went from DirecTV back to traditional cable with Time Warner.  This was done mostly to save some money and maximize my HD channel selection.  It seemed like I was gaining a lot at first but then I realized how much I had given up. I’m still not sure the right choice was made because now I only have one country music channel whereas I used to have three.  The three I’m referring to are CMT (Country Music Television), GAC (Great American Country) and RFD-TV (Rural Free Delivery). I’m currently stuck with only CMT.

I used to be a big fan of CMT, in fact, I used to work there and I was very proud of that.  At least I was until MTV came in, laid me and a bunch of others off and proceeded to ruin it.  I knew the channel was headed for trouble when I was in New York getting a tour of MTV’s network operations center and this brain-dead human resources person was trying to relate to me with her non-existent knowledge of country music. “You guys play Kenny Wayne Shepherd, right?” she asked. No you fucking idiot, that’s blues and rock. Not everyone from Louisiana plays country.  My visit went downhill after that, culminating with the wreck I had in the rental car they were paying for.  The layoff happened a month later and I’m still bitter about it nearly nine years later. Fucking carpetbaggers.

I decided to take a step back and see if that bitterness was clouding my judgment or if CMT really was ruined by MTV’s influence and if so, what are the other options?

I tuned in on a recent Saturday afternoon to find nothing but reruns of Nanny 911, World’s Strictest Parents and Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?  Well, maybe not but I’m definitely smarter than an MTV programmer.  Please. What does any of that shit have to do with country music?  And nothing screams country like a Hulk Hogan wrestling show.  To their credit, they do have a handful of shows that are relevant to the channel. Among them are, Can You Duet?, Gone Country and The Singing Bee. They play movies that have nothing to do with country music and their weekly news show, CMT Insider, has a segment that shows movie trailers for big, mainstream movies that are usually not country related.  For the most part they have become a redneck version of MTV—and not in a good way.  Cloudy judgment?  I think not.

There are some great alternatives to CMT, problem is, they are not as widely available.  While CMT is available in 88 million homes, GAC is in 56 million homes and according to trade publication, Broadcasting & Cable, GAC is one of America’s “Breakout Networks.” They continue to grow and you know why? They have stuck to music programming.  Unfortunately for me, they are not on a basic cable tier in my city so in order to see GAC, I would have to pay extra for it.  It might be worth it.

RFD-TV is the one I really wish I had.  They closely resemble the old TNN (The Nashville Network) with their rural-themed programming and increasing country music programming. The Marty Stuart Show is top-notch but what I’m really sad about is a new show called Tru Country Music that features the same great honky tonk singers that I play on HonkyTonkJunkie.com.  They include: James Hand, Heather Myles, Miss Leslie, Amber Digby, Justin Trevino, Jake Hooker, Leona Williams, Bobby Flores and Darrell McCall.  What a great line-up. I’m sitting on the fence about whether or not I should return to DirecTV just so I can get that show.

I’m not sure how many homes RFD-TV is available in but if you don’t have it in yours, you should bombard your local cable company or whatever you have and demand that they get it.  Forget CMT.  Boycott them. Their programming is irrelevant and will turn your brain to mush.  Do you really need to see Taylor Swift singing with Def Leppard? Hell no.  Cloudy Judgment?  I think not.
 

I didn’t watch the CMA’s, never do, but when I saw the list of winners, I started thinking about who would win if it was my show.  I don’t have anything against the CMA’s or even mainstream country for that matter, that’s what I grew up on, after all.  But back then mainstream country was Merle Haggard, Waylon Jennings, Johnny Paycheck, Bobby Bare, Hank Jr. and a ton of others that would never get played today.  About the CMA’s I say, fine, whatever.  Plenty of people like that stuff so what the hell, let them have it, but let’s also get the real stuff out there so that the general population can also see and hear what it’s really about.

Here is my list of winners for the HTJMA’s (The Honky Tonk Junkie Music Awards) using the CMA’s  eligibility start date of July 1, 2008 on up to the CMA’s airdate of November 11,  2009.  And yes, I extended the eligibility period beyond their date of June 30, 2009. Why? Because it’s my damn list, that’s why.

Entertainer--Jesse Dayton--Jesse has to be one of the hardest working guys in the biz. He has his own record label, he writes and performs music for movies, he’s an actor and an all around great showman. He’s currently touring with Rob Zombie as Captain Clegg & the Night Creatures, based on the characters he and his band played in the movie Halloween II.  

Single--Drunk Dialer--Miss Leslie & Her Juke-Jointers--This was my favorite record this year.  Great story that we can all relate to.  Produced by pedal steel player, Ricky Davis, this is hands down one of the best-sounding recordings ever.

Song--Country Song--Jackson Taylor & The Sinners--This song pulls no punches and tells it like it is.  There is no better person to sing this song than Jackson Taylor.

Album--All Alone Again--Joey Allcorn--Joey does retro right but with a modern sound. He used legendary players like former Drifting Cowboy, the late steel player, Don Helms. This record stayed in my CD player for weeks. I couldn't get enough.

Female Vocalist--Amber Digby--I can’t get enough of her voice. If I were you, I’d go online and pick up everything she’s ever done.  You won’t be sorry.

Male Vocalist--Dale Watson--This should just be called “The Dale Watson” award and he should win it every year.

Vocal Group--The Hacienda Brothers--This is the best group you’ve probably never heard of. Unfortunately, lead singer-songwriter, Chris Gaffney died right before their last album came out. Pick up their album Arizona Motel and hear how it’s done because it won’t be again.

Vocal Duo--Mark McKinney & Kevin Fowler--Check out their duet, County Line, from McKinney’s Middle America album. Great vocals on a fun, blue collar party song.

Musical Event--Captain Clegg & The Night Creatures--This came about because Rob Zombie needed a band to play a Halloween party for Halloween II and Jesse Dayton was the one guy who could pull it off.  They played a lot of rockabilly in the movie but the album contains quite a few honky tonk songs and it an overall solid effort from a band created for the movies.

Musician--Ricky Davis--I think anyone who can play pedal steel is a God, but Ricky Davis is God’s God. Formerly, Dale Watson’s steel player, he is now playing with his Fiancee, Leslie Sloan (Miss Leslie) and producing as well.

Music Video--Cocaine--Jackson Taylor & The Sinners--I love performance videos and with this one you can get a good idea of what one of Jackson’s shows is like. I’ve never seen one live because he hasn’t played California in a long time. I may soon have to fly to Texas to see him.

New Artist--Cowboy Dave--These guys are from Nebraska, formed from the remains of Forty Twenty. I love their sound and songs and hope to one day see them live, because as much as I love their record, I’m willing to bet their live show is like no other.

So there you go.  That’s how it would be if I ran things.  Out of the albums that I know of that will  be out in time for next year’s awards, here is who I predict will be winners next year in some capacity:  Lisa & Her Kin, The Railbenders & Eleven Hundred Springs.  How do I know this?  Because it’s my damn list, that’s how.

A note to music artists of all genres:

I don’t want to come off like I’m complaining even though I suppose I am a little.  I love all you artists on HonkyTonkJunkie.com but I have a few issues with some of you.

I spend a lot of time searching for music. Initially I used MySpace to find bands to play on the station. I combed through many hundreds of pages, listened to the posted songs and if I deemed them “Junkie Worthy,” I sent you a friend request and a note telling you about the station and how I would love to play your music and give you some exposure. All you would need to do is either send me a CD or tell me where I could download it. Almost all accepted the friend request but I got very few responses to the request for music.

Maybe I was naïve to think that a lot of you guys would jump at the chance to get some free exposure, even if it is on a little internet radio station on the popular and growing live365.com family where we happen to be the #1 honky tonk station (I’m just sayin’.) A handful of you contacted me for my mailing address and never sent anything. Still another handful actually did follow through and sent music.

It’s not that I’m opposed to spending money on the music; to the contrary, I purchased more than 1,500 tracks on iTunes last year which I happily wrote off my taxes. But when I hear complaints from bands about not being able to get on the radio then when you’re offered that chance, you flake out, it annoys me a little. If you want it bad enough, you ought to be working it. I should know, I wrote a hilarious (if I do say so myself) book of short stories that I haven’t pushed at all and I have no one to blame but myself (insert shameless plug here for “How TV Ruined My Sex Life and a Bunch of Other Messed Up Misadventures.”) But I digress. There is a lot that can, and should be done, but you have to put some work into it.

On the rare and exciting occasion that one of you great, undiscovered bands from some lonely corner of Nowheresville comes to town to play, I want to get one of your t-shirts.  And yes, I want to pay for it since this is one of the most lucrative revenue streams that a band has and I want to help support you. Simple, you say?  Not so much.  I can’t get one if you don’t have them.  Every single time, and I truly mean every single time in the past year-and-a-half, you have either been out of the style I want or the size I need. The litany of excuses is always the same: “We ran out at our last show,” or “We didn’t bring any of those,” or “we’re in the middle of restocking them,” or some bullshit combination of all three.  Come on people.  I’ll bet half of your fans wear a XXL-sized shirts. You ought to have more of those than anything. I can’t tell you how many shirts I have that are one size too small that I bought thinking that I would lose enough weight to wear it. I also have a closet full of the ugly-ass ones that were in my size but nobody else wanted because they were a fucked up color.  Again I say, come on people. I’m willing to pay $15-20 to advertise the band for free and this is the best you can do?  So I go online to your websites and MySpace pages but most of the time you are sold out online as well.

I want to support you because I think what you’re doing is important and worth it, but you have to meet me halfway. You have to help me help you. Okay, that’s it.  Carry on, folks.
 

If there's one thing I can't stand it's a music snob that refuses to recognize that is what they are.  It's like people who say things like "I'm not a racist, but..."  then say something totally racist.  Music snobs do the same thing. I know this guy who says he likes everything except rap, metal and country. Then you don't REALLY like everything, do you?  I can't respect you if your going to lie to me and more importantly, lie to yourself.

You can't proclaim that you're a music lover unless you can listen to and tolerate anything, at least for a little while. I know another guy who says he's a music lover but doesn't own a single CD that wasn't a gift and only listens to classic rock. I hate to break it to you, pal, but you're not a music lover, you're a classic rock lover.  And that's fine, you can be that.  Just once, I'd like somebody's response to the question, "What do you like to listen to?" be, "I fucking hate everything except Christian rock and gospel."  Okay, I'll probably never get that specific answer but you get the idea.

A while back I was stopped at a red light at a Los Angeles intersection. I had my windows down and was blasting some Hank Thompson.  The twenty-something Latino guy in the car next to me immediately rolled his up window.  I think it's safe to say he wasn't a fan of my genre of music.  I find it sad that he couldn't tolerate something different for less than two minutes.  If the situation had been reversed, I would have turned my music down so I could hear what he was playing.  I've actually heard some really cool shit that way.

Then there are the people who want to ban things.  I saw a Facebook cause page called "Kill Nashville Pop." I'm not a fan of Nashville pop, I prefer honky tonk (yes, there's a huge difference) so I simply don't listen to it.  I used to, though, and because I did, I was able to progress to what I think is a much more real and honest genre of music.  My hope is that other people will have the same experience.  That probably won't happen if Nashville pop dies.  There are a lot of people who like that stuff and I think that's great. If you get bored, though, and want something better, I can help you out. 

Just as a true music lover will have an appreciation for everything, so to does the true musician.  Every musician that I've ever thought was the shit, always had knowledge and an appreciation for all styles of music.  I don't think you should even call yourself a musician unless you do. Again, you don't have to like it or play it, but you should try to see the value in it.

It also seems to me that rap or hip-hop songs, whatever you want to call them, are really just country songs in an urban setting.  They deal with the exact same topics: love, loss, fun, fighting, fucking, killing, cheating, prison -- you name it.  I repect it as an art form even if I don't listen to it.

The bottom line is I'm just asking for a little honesty here.  You don't have to respect or like anything, but  if you don't, just go ahead and admit it.  I would much rather be around someone who is honest about their likes and dislikes even if they are way different than mine than someone who says they like everything when they really don't. If you're a music snob, just go ahead and be one, it's really okay, just don't try and bullshit me by telling me you're not. 
 

Last week while while surfing through Amazon.com, I came across a Dale Watson concert video that I had not been previously aware of.  I own his other video, "For Fans Only," that was shot on the road somewhere, I don't know where, but it''s Dale Watson so it doesn't matter.  This new one was shot in the Netherlands, odd place for the "King of the Honky Tonks," as my steel-playing friend, Danny Crelin likes to call him, but again, who cares, it's Dale Watson.  Well, ten seconds after my idiot mailman delivered it, it was in my DVD player.  The music was great, as usual, but the video production left a lot to be desired.  This concert had the potential to be badass but instead, fell into the "what were they thinking?" category.   Why?  Because the video crew was not familiar with Dale's music and probably never shot a concert before -- and boy did it show.

Time after time they would switch to shots that were not  relevant.  For instance, during many a steel guitar solo, the shot was on the drummer or a wide shot or a crowd shot -- everything but the steel.  In most cases it wasn't until the last bar that they would switch to a shot of the steel.  It was painful to watch.  Years ago when I worked in the control room for The Nashville Network, we used to broadcast the Grand Ole Opry live every Saturday night.  There was a guy, I think his name was Curt, who was an Assistant Director or something.  His was the voice I would hear giving commands on the other end of the intercom.  This guy was on it.  Seconds before something was going to happen, he would say something like, "Steel guitar coming up in 8 bars," and the second the solo would start, they would switch to the appropriate camera.  It go like that for everything, piano, fiddle, whatever.  It was a truly beautiful thing.  I don't know if he researched everything or what, but it was clear that he cared and was into it.  Later on I moved down the hall to CMT and found out I was the only one in operations who liked country music, therefore I was the only one who had the sound up through my shift and actually watched the broadcast.  Silly me, I thought that's what we were getting paid to do.  I found it hard to believe that someone who wasn't into the material could do as good of a job as someone who was.

What's my point to all this?  Wouldn't it be nice if we could just redistribute all the jobs so that people could do what they were passionate about?  Wouldn't the world be a happier place if we could all do what we liked?  I could go back to working in country music full time and someone who loves tennis could come and take my current job at Tennis Channel.  I think for every job that's out there, there is someone who is passionate about it but not doing it.  That goes for everything from mowing lawns to waiting tables.  For every job that sombody hates, there is a person who would love it.  My fiancee hates cleaning the cat box as much as I hate scrubbing the bathroom.  Turns out she likes the bathroom scrubbing and I kind of have fun sifting through cat litter.  There you go.  Problem solved.  We can do this, people, it will just take a lot of planning and organization.

As for the Dale Watson concert, I think you should buy it knowing that the music is great but the video part sucks.  And Dale, if you read this and want someone to do a killer concert for you, call me.  I'll even track down Curt from TNN to help.

Yeah, I like the cocaine
I like the whiskey too
I like all those wicked things
I'm learnin' how to do
Yeah and I like the dark side
and I like the wild ride
and I like the dirty girls too
Yeah 'cause when I'm on this cocaine
I don't give a damn about you.

No, this is not a poem about my life.  This is the chorus to my current favorite song--a song that I can't get enough of, that makes me sing out loud--called Cocaine by Jackson Taylor and the Sinners.  I have tried to figure out why I love this song so much but I just can't put my finger on it.  Maybe if I work through it I can try to come up with an answer.  Let's start with the lyrics:

I like the cocaine--Uh, no.  Never tried it, never will.  But if I did, I'm sure I'd love it.
I like the whiskey too--Actually I'm more of a bourbon and rum man.
I like all those wicked things I'm learning how to do--I'm kind of up for learning some wicked things.  I did, after all, get two tattoos this year. Okay, put me down for that one.
And I like the dark side--No, I kinda like light and sunshine. It's one of the benefits of living in Southern California.
And I like the wild ride--Controlled wild rides really.  Like roller coasters.  The one at New York, New York in Las Vegas is still one of my all-time favorites.
And I like the dirty girls too--Who likes dirty girls?  Give me a clean one that smells like Dove and baby oil any day.  Oh, who am I kidding?  Scratch that.  I do like the dirty girls too.
Yeah 'cause when I'm on this cocaine I don't give a damn about you--Well, we've established I'm not on this cocaine or that cocaine or any other cocaine and I don't even know who you are so how can I really give a damn?

Okay, it's probably not the lyrics.  Maybe it's the music.  The song does have heavy bass and drums ala Waylon Jennings and it has dirty, twangy, bluesy guitars reminiscent of Great White's Once Bitten, Twice Shy. Back in the day, that song was the shit.

Maybe it's Jackson Taylor himself.  Jackson is Texas-bred with a tough-guy look and persona as well as a nihilistic and chauvinistic view of the world.  I actually find this admirable.  He sings and writes about what he wants and doesn't give a shit.  He's very much a modern-day Waylon or Johnny Cash.  I loved Waylon and Johnny and the things they stood for enough to tattoo a tribute to them on my arm.  Maybe someday I will get a Jackson Taylor tattoo.

Maybe I sympathize with the song's theme of lost love and trying to kill the pain, though it could be argued that killing the pain is what killed his relationship to the point that he needed to kill the pain again. 

It's all very confusing and even after working through the song elements, I still don't understand why I'm singing about cocaine in the car, in the shower, wherever.  I think that for me it's not the words but rather, just the right combination of attitude and instrumentation.  Some songs just click with me and this is one of them.  I'm told the song will be on his new album in March but you can judge for yourself on Jackson Taylor's MySpace page or on HonkyTonkJunkie.com on live365.com.  Either way, it's worth a listen and if you're not careful, it might even turn you into a lover of Cocaine.

It's unbelievable how horribly managed the most powerful media conglomerates in this country are.  I haven't looked into all of them but the two that I have bitched about in the past, NBC Universal and Viascum, oops, I mean Viacom, continue to blow my mind with their ignorance and their insolence.

First off, Sumner Redstone, the greedy, crusty Chairman of Viascum, which owns MTV, CMT and a buttload of other horrible channels, should just fucking die.  He's in his eighties, he can't get along with anyone, even his own family, just give it up, put the shotgun in your mouth and your toe in the trigger and just...fucking...die already.  The world has had enough of his greed and his poisoning of the world with the shit on MTV.  Why am I directing so much hate in his direction?  I've discussed this at length in other entries but the short story is my life and the lives of hundreds of others were upended and shattered because he didn't have enough billions in the bank and needed to lay off employees.  Now I hear he's doing it again to the tune of 850 people.  Are you fucking kidding me?  850 more households that will never be the same.  Apparently his precious company is $1.6 billion in debt with $800 million of that coming due on December 19th.  Boo hoo motherfucker, boo hoo.  You're quite the genius.  You didn't even start from the ground up;  your daddy got you going.  Go ahead and pull that trigger, ain't nobody gonna miss ya!

The second object of my hate is Jeff scum-Zucker, Chairman of NBC.  In addition to generally stinking up the public airwaves with the most rancid shit on network televsion (and ruining Nashville Star) he is also idling one of the few shows in their stable that actually has some value:  "The Big Idea with Donny Deutch."  The show is not actually on NBC but on CNBC and features former advertising executive, Donny Deutch interviewing people who have either had ideas that have paid off big or have the potential to pay off big.  The reason given as to why it's being idled?  It's about success and they didn't want to rub people's noses in it when the economy is so shitty.  Fucking idiots.  Sure it's about success but more importantly it's about inspiration and hope.  It shows us that anyone from any background and means has the opportunity to turn their ideas and dreams into reality.  If there is a show we could all use right now it's this one.  This show is one of the reasons I self-published a book this year. It's one of the reasons I'm now launching several home-based businesses.  But most of all it's one of the reasons I launched this website, radio station and blog.  That show inspired me to do all of these things and believe me, if I can do it, anyone can.  It was Donny Deutch and "The Big Idea" that showed me I could (thanks also to my friend, Tim, who turned me on to the show in the first place.)  It seems to me the tiny pricks at NBC  and Viascum would rather keep people down and out without any kind of hope or inspiration so we'll sit on our asses and watch the shit they're force feeding us.  It's utterly and completely disgusting. 

I don't know what the solution to all this is.  Maybe if people stayed away from the product put forth by these two companies it would contribute to the ouster of these two bastards.  I know it's hard, but we've got to try.  Instead of sitting around watching their shit,  why not try and put your own ideas out there?   Who cares if someone thinks your idea is stupid?  You only have to please you.  If your idea fails, fuck it, pull out another one.  Think of how great it will feel if you succeed.  Whatever you do, don't give up your power to two sad cocksuckers like Sumner Redstone and Jeff Zucker.

I had been looking forward to October 21, 2008 for months; ever since I found out that the new Hank Williams III album, Damn Right and Rebel Proud was going to be released on that date.  I was taking care of some family business in Albuquerque at the time and frankly, didn't trust that I was going to find a store that had it, based on my experiences in the past.  So I did what I usually do -- I went to iTunes.  I clicked on the country category like I do every Tuesday and lo and behold, there it was.  I knew the album was going to be great but when I saw the 3 1/2 star rating I was a little shocked.  I just knew this album was going to be worthy of 5 stars.  I promptly went ahead and downloaded all the tracks and then read the reviews while I was waiting.

I scrolled down a saw that two people out of five who had rated it at the time had given it a 1-star rating.  I didn't understand that.  It seemed to me that anyone who is a fan of Hank III couldn't possibly rate one of his records 1 star even if it sucked.  I read the first review and realized what happened.  Some dummy who hated country music rated it 1 star just because the record had also been categorized as a rock album and popped up on the rock page.  He probably did what I do -- go right to the genre I'm into and listen to samples of everything that came out that week.  The Hank III album was the worst rock record he'd ever heard.  Well, no shit dummy.  It's a country record.

So my question is, why would anyone rate something that they're clearly not interested in?  Once you realize it's not a rock record and has clearly been miscategorized, why not just leave it alone and go piss on something else?  Why not let the people who like that kind of music judge it?   That would be like me rating a jazz record.  I think they all suck but if I came across one by mistake, I would either listen with an open mind and then find something more to my liking or I would just get the hell away from it as fast as possible.  I am clearly not qualified to judge a jazz record just like someone who hates country shouldn't judge one of those either.

The sad part is, Hank III also actually does a fine job with punk/metal.  Anyone who has ever seen an Assjack (Hank's other band that plays a set after the country stuff) show or a Superjoint Ritual show can surely attest to that. 

The bottom line here is that if you're not into country, hellbilly, honky tonk or whatever and you're just going to trash it, I'm not interested in your opinion.  If you listen to it and it changes your life like it did mine, then we'll have something to talk about.

For the record, I didn't even bother to read the review from Dummy number two.  And I rate the record 5 stars.

Anyone who watched Nashville Star this past summer witnessed an embarrassing train wreck.  This was not a great show to begin with but at least it was country music on TV.  It was filled with a bunch of no-name wannabe singers and musicians which is normally great because if there's one thing I love, it's discovering new talent.  This time, however, that was one of the biggest problems with the show so let's start there, shall we?

The level of talent was the weakest in years.  Most of the names were forgettable so excuse me if I fail to produce them.  First was this kid named Justin (I think).  He was a pretty boy from L.A. who couldn't sing for shit, much less sing country.  This was a kid who came off as someone who was just looking for his shot at fame in any format he could find acting, singing, gay porn, whatever.  Well, he got his fame but not in the way he thought.  You know what he's most known for now?  It's rumored that he's dating Miley Cyrus.  She's 15 you dipshit, you're in your 20's.  You should be ashamed of yourself.

Next on my hit list was a black dude named Coffey.  He could sing fine, but he had no business singing country.  He had an obvious and distinct R & B voice and no matter how hard he tried to sing a country song, he never even came close to pulling one off.  I wish him luck in another genre, but let it be known that just because you're from Texas doesn't mean you can sing a country song.

There was a trio of dudes whose name definitely escapes me.  They thought they were entertaining.  They were not.  They claimed to be influenced by Alabama and the Oak Ridge Boys.  Please.  Influenced maybe, but they will never even come close to being as talented as those two groups are.  They were like a bad Vegas lounge act.  But not like the Vegas strip, more like way off the strip.  Like Pahrump.  That's it, they were a bad lounge act from Pahrump.   Earlier this year I had seen a show on FOX called The Greatest American Band brought to us by the American Idol people where the talent was so phenomenal I had trouble choosing a favorite.  This trio of no-talents would have been laughed out of those auditions and should have been for Nashville Star.  

Then there was a teenage girl duo.  OMG!  LOL!  Not only could they not sing but they brought all their little-girl drama with them.  I thought I was watching The Hills.  I had just finished watching a show called Can You Duet? on CMT.  Again, done by the American Idol people and loaded with talent.  I really want to know what fucking idiot sneaked these two teeny-boppers onto network television.  I hope the blowjobs were worth it because you clearly should not have a job -- doing anything.

Now let's talk about the judges.  First there was Jeffrey Steele, a well-respected, highly successful Nashville songwriter and former lead singer of a band called Boy Howdy.  I'm not a big fan of the mainstream hits he's written for other people but the stuff he saves for himself to sing is the kind I play on HonkyTonkJunkie.com.  He knows how to play the game and I was glad he was there to provide an honest opinion.  Another judge who I think is a huge talent is Jewel.  She provided an honest opinion and constructive criticism and if it wasn't for her and Jeff, the show would have been even more unwatchable -- if that's possible.

The last judge deserves a paragraph all to himself.  What can I say about John Rich?  Well, he washed out of his career with Lonestar, his solo career is a failure, and his new band, Big and Rich is only a marginal success.  Apparently he makes a lot of money as a producer and songwriter but I'm convinced that he wouldn't make any money as a songwriter if he didn't force his stuff on the artists he produces.  He also hosts a show called Gone Country on CMT that I actually like where he takes a bunch of artists from other genres and tries to turn them into country singers.  That would be all well and good if he had any idea what makes a good country singer.  The winner, that he personally picked, was Julio Iglesias, Jr. who could barely speak English and doesn't even live in this country full time.  He was chosen because the wet-pantied girls in the audience responded with typical screams and tears.  You know what, John?  That won't cut it.  It was proved by the fact that Junior's single went nowhere and he has now (hopefully) retreated back to Spain where he can concentrate on making music in his own language and style.  Anyway, back to Nashville Star.  It was hilarious to watch John kiss the network's ass for the first couple of weeks by going easy on the cast of losers he was saddled with.  He finally began to wise up a bit and give a more honest opinion but when he did that, he only contradicted himself and came off looking like an idiot.

The thing that got me the most while I was watching this fiasco was the thousands of TALENTED people who didn't get on the show.   Visit the honky tonks of lower Broadway in Nashville or just about any roadhouse in Texas and you'll see what I'm talking about.  Nashville Star was an insult to anyone who works hard and beats the streets night after night for tips.  I was sickened and embarrassed to even tell people I like country when such a horrible show was accessible to so many people.  I think they set back the advancement of country music twenty years at least.

If NBC has not done irreparable damage to Nashville Star and it actually returns to the air next summer, I wish they would hand it over to someone who knows what they're doing.  NBC has so completely fucked up the rest of their shows NBC should stand for Nothing But Crap.  Don't stick your brown noses into my format, okay.  Hand it over to me and even if it turns out to be a ratings failure, at least it will be loaded with quality and talent.

I saw an interesting movie the other night.  It was called Heckler and it was hosted and produced by Jamie Kennedy.  Jamie is a stand up comedian and actor and at one point had a Candid Camera/Punk'd-type show on the old WB network.  His movies include Malibu's Most Wanted and Son of the Mask.  Heckler was a documentary about people who heckle comedians and other performers but it also explored critics, professional or otherwise, whose job it is to essentially tell you what to think.  That's where I come in.  People have suggested that I do CD reviews on this site.  I say, what's the point?

The way I figure it, if I play something on HonkyTonkJunkie.com, obviously I like it.  If I didn't like it, why would I play it?  Oh, you want to know why I like it?  Who fucking cares what I think?  Maybe I like the words, maybe I like the melody, maybe I like the steel guitar solo.  Whatever.  It doesn't matter what I like.  It's not my job to tell you why I like something and in a lot of cases, I have no idea anyway -- maybe I just do.

By the same token, if I dislike a CD or song, why would I waste time writing about it?  All I would really be doing is giving something I dislike some free publicity.  That's kind of stupid.  Someone, somewhere liked it, otherwise it never would have seen the light of day.  I know there are people out there who liked the movies Gigli and Freddy Got Fingered because I'm one of them.  They certainly weren't the greatest movies but I found at least parts of them to be entertaining in one way or another.

My first job out of high school was at a video store.  Every single day someone would come in and ask me to recommend a movie or two.  I was young, I fell for it, I gave my opinion.  More often than not they would come back and tell me it was the worst piece of shit they had ever seen.  Well what did you ask me for then?  You can read the box.  Decide for yourself, don't ask me. 

I view lists the same way.  Somebody is always coming out with top 10 this and top 10 that.  Does anybody really care what Joe Jerkoff from whatever-it-is dot com thinks?  These things are ridiculous.  Form your own opinions.

Some of you might be thinking, "Hey, wait a minute there's a section on HonkyTonkJunkie.com where you recommend books and movies.  That's kind of hypocritical, don't you think?"  It might be if I liked everything on there.  I don't, though, and that's the difference.  That section is meant to be more of a resource guide for people who are interested in books and movies that have some sort of relevence to Honky Tonk or Country, or Americana or that you might find interesting.  There are actually things on that page that I am not a fan of but I also know that others might not think the same way so I put them there for you to check out and form your own opinion.  It's also not complete.  As I think of or come across more items, I will gladly add them whether I like them or not, so don't think of it as a list of my favorites. 

So Jamie, keep doing what you're doing and ignore the critics. I've always believed everything should be tossed out there to let the people decide what they like or don't like for themselves.  That's just my opinion, though.  No one should really care what I think anyway.

Right before this years MTV Video Music Awards I was reminded about how much I hate MTV.  For those of you who don't know, I used to work for them but believe me, it was not by choice.  I worked for The Nashville Network, TNN as it was then known, which was, along with Country Music Television, owned by CBS.  My job, in a nutshell was to watch TV and push a few buttons at the appropriate times.  I was honored be able to work on the Grand Ole Opry broadcasts on Saturday nights and take my mom and grandma backstage when they would come to town.  I loved my job.  To this day it's the only job I've ever loved.  But then came that fateful Labor Day weekend in 1999 when we heard on CNN that CBS was being bought by Viacom which owned MTV and a bunch of other things.  At first some of us thought being a part of the MTV family would be a good thing.  15 months later we found out how wrong we were.

While we waited for the other shoe to drop, The Nashville Network was rebranded and became The National Network and ultimately Spike TV.  Gone was all the country music and country lifestyle programming that had aired on the channel for 17 years in favor of WWE and Star Trek: The Next Generation.  I ended up transferring down the hall to CMT.  At this point I was quite happy on one hand because I was getting paid to watch country music videos 12 hours a day but on the other, I couldn't shake the feeling that it would not last.

In my mind it didn't make sense to have 3 feeds broadcasting from a leased building in Nashville when you could absorb them into the main facility in New York that already had 83 feeds beaming out of it.  We were assured, however, that we would, in fact, be staying in Nashville because they didn't want to mess with such a well-run organization.  The chairman of MTV himself, Tom Freston, came down to personally assure us.  (By the way Tom, we were not impressed with your Flow-bee, Suck-Cut haircut.)  Mel Karmazin, CBS CEO at the time, never showed his face.

Then came "Black Tuesday" in January 2001.  Myself and two other TNN operators were out enjoying an afternoon movie on our day off when we got calls about a mandatory meeting.  We feared the worst and were absolutely right -- layoffs were eminent and the operations were moving to New York.  One of the human resources jerk-offs who broke the news seemed annoyed at my tone as I asked questions about the separation package they were offering.  Imagine that.  They were ramming the ol' weinerschlide up our asses and didn't like that we weren't taking it with a smile.  I did, however, smile when I thought about the testicular cancer I was wishing on him. 

May 31, 2001 was the drop-dead day for being out of the building.  Those who didn't jump ship for other jobs and stuck it out to the end would get the separation package which for me amounted to a paltry $5,000.  Big deal.  Jobs were scarce in Nashville at the time and I was going to have to leave town.  It was going to cost almost that much to set myself up in another city.  Luckily, I owned no property and could just up leave.  That was not the case for dozens of others.

In February an intersting opportunity presented itself.  The MTV staffers who were hanging around Nashville to handle the transition to New York mentioned that there would be a handful of jobs open for those who wanted to move to New York.  By this point I had moved past most of the five stages of grief and had made it to acceptance.  Five of my coworkers and I pursued that avenue thinking we had a pretty good shot.  They flew us up there for a night to check things out and do informal interviews.  It all looked good.  I was going to be a New Yorker. 

They dragged their asses and kept us hanging with no answers until late April when the bulk of the transition was completed and they didn't need us any more.  Meanwhile many of our other coworkers had said fuck it and accepted good jobs with companies like Turner Broadcasting in Atlanta.  We were sure that the New York gig was in the bag.  Wrong again.  Only one of our group was offered a job and the rest of us were rudely told that no job offers would be extended.  That's not a handful you lying idiots, that's one.  There we were, left holding our dicks and no job to go to.  I should have never trusted them.  Shame on me.

Flash forward to December 2005, Los Angeles.  I had been in LA for nearly two years and had just gotten laid off from my third job in four years.  A friend of mine had just started working on a show for MTV called The Hills and offered me work as a Production Assistant, the lowest paying job you can get on a show.  I needed the work so I took it.

First of all the people in charge of that show are a bunch of rude douchebags.  Second of all they promoted me early on but refused to give a raise.  More work, more responsibility, no more pay.  My supposed friend was in charge of the money so I went to her and said that I needed more, it didn't even have to be much, just a token raise above the P.A. rate.  No dice.  I told her I would quit if I didn't get it which is exactly what happened.  When Season 2 hit the air I noticed that they hired two people to do what I was doing; at a higher rate too, no doubt.

Unfortunately after I watched the first season I became hooked on the subsequent ones.  That is why I was tuned in to the dreaded MTV right before the VMA's, it wasn't to watch them, it was because they were running an episode of The Hills right before it.  To make a short story long, the thing that reminded me of how fucked up MTV is was the fact that they were promoting the VMA's with these giant graphics that covered 1/4 of the screen.  What made that such a problem was the fact that they have so many subtitled conversations in The Hills due to the fact that you can't hear what they say in those loud, stupid clubs they go to, that the grahics covered up most of the subtitles.  Anybody with a brain should have seen that coming.  We're talking about MTV, though, aren't we?

As a footnote, what did Viacom/MTV/CBS get for their efforts in fucking all of us back in 2001?  Nothing.  Their stock sunk to an all time low and never recovered; Tom Freston ended up out of a job (though I'm sure his $50 million golden parachute will keep him aloft for the rest of his life) and Mel Karmazin is now getting the chance to ruin Sirius satellite radio.  So what did Sumner Redstone, the billionaire chairman of Viacom piece of shit ultimately responsible for everything do to help is already fat bottom line?  In 2006 he separated CBS and Viacom again and spent a shitload of money to build a backup facility in -- guess where -- Nashville. 

So there you have it back to square one, though it's a much smaller square.  If it weren't for The Hills, I would never watch MTV.  I hope it gets cancelled soon so I will have no reason to press MTV's numbers on my remote at all.  The only other Viacom channel I'll watch once in a while is CMT for an obvious reason -- I love country music.  Truth be told, though, I watch way more Great American Country (GAC)  because it is by far the superior channel.

It's amazing to me how some management companies can make their clients look bad.  Not long ago I saw that Junior Brown was coming to L.A. to do a show.  I have been a fan since I first heard him back in the early '90's and have constantly had at least two of his songs on the play list since HonkyTonkJunkie.com launched.  I think he is a musical genius -- I mean really, the guy created his own instrument for God sake.  The half steel, half guitar he came up with is a work of art.

I thought it would be great to interview him for this site so I went to JuniorBrown.com and found the information I needed in order to request some time with him.  The information instructed me to fax a request to his management company located somewhere in Oklahoma.  I followed the instructions and waited for a response.  A week later, one still hadn't come so I followed up with a phone call.  I left a voicemail message and waited some more.  Another week went by and still nothing so I placed yet another call.  Still nada.  The show was rapidly approaching and my hopes of a chance to get to talk to him were quickly fading.

My friend said we should just go and try to talk to him the night of the show but with the way I conduct interviews, I thought that would be a huge waste of time.  I like to do research and structure my questions so I can be as prepared as possible.  It's a lot of work but it's the only way I'll do it.  I don't want to just wing it and do a half-assed job.  I'm either going to do it right or not at all.  Well, as you can guess, it was not at all.  I didn't even bother to go to the show.

If they would have come right out and said no, I would have been cool with that but to not even respond is just not cool.  Junior hasn't put out anything in something like four years and they don't play his stuff on mainstream radio so I don't imagine there was a line of people beating down his door with interview requests.  Maybe I'm wrong, but even so, a response would have been nice.  I understand that management companies and publicists and the like are gatekeepers meant to filter these requests and keep people away, but they still need to operate on some sort of a professional level.

I'm not one to hold a grudge (okay, actually I am, though I wont this time) so I will still play Junior's music and I will still follow his career.  He may not even know that the people who are in charge of his career are douche bags and if that's true, let this be his wake up call.  Good luck, Junior, maybe we'll try it again next time you're in L.A.

I went on a hunt for a CD recently and the experience left me depressed.  My girlfriend Jennie's birthday was coming up and I had just heard Carolyn Wonderland's Missunderstood online.  I knew Jennie would love it but since I discovered Carolyn's music three days before her birthday, I decided that in order to get it on time it would be best to haul my ass off to the record store instead of buying it on Amazon.com like I usually do.  That turned out to be a mistake.

The first stop was Warehouse.  At least it would have been if they had not gone out of business.  A shoe store was now in it's spot.  It seemed like just yesterday I bought Hank III's Straight To Hell there.  Apparently it was more like two years.  Great, now I was going to have go up the road to Best Buy.  I had a feeling this was going to be a disaster and I was right.  First of all, their shit was all messed up.  I found a Waylon Jennings CD in the Rap section and an Alan Jackson one in Jazz.  I Don't even want to know how they ended up over there.  I went to the blues section where I figured I'd find Carolyn Wonderland but of course I had to wade through the Bob Marley and Michael Bolton.  Because that's where they belonged.  As you might guess I didn't find what what I was looking for.  I don't know what I expected.  Organization; maybe a little caring.  Right.  They clearly don't give a shit.

My next stop was Circuit City.  A little bit better organized but less of a selection.  But that's not really saying much.  It was still pathetic and there was still no Carolyn Wonderland.  Big shock.

By this point I was pretty disgusted.  And pretty hungry.  I thought a trip to Hooters might soothe my soul so off to Hollywood I went.  I realized that Virgin Records was right across the street so why not take a look?  Besides, if I bought something in there, they would validate my parking.  That was reason enough to go in.  Was this supposed to be a record shop?  Not only was there no Carolyn Wonderland but they had the most pathetic country section I'd ever seen.  There seemed to be nothing but greatest hits CD's.  I guess this saved them from having to put any actual thought into what they were stocking and, God forbid, take up any valuble space with quality music.

By this point I had made the decision to let my Three-Mile-Island-flavor-wing-sauce-stained fingers do the walking through the jungle of Amazon.com and get the CD for a Christmas present instead.   There was, however, one more possibility -- Amoeba Records.  In my opinion Amoeba is the finest record shop in L.A.  They have everything including a lot of great country music I've never heard.  Believe it or not I decided not to go even though I was just a few blocks away.  Why?  Because I'm a weak man.  There is no way I could go in there and only buy one CD.  I have never left there with less that $200 worth of music.  Until I refinance the 15-year student loan I've been paying on for 18 years, I just can't spend that kind of money.  No, Amazon was going to be the safest thing.

I miss the old days of the mom and pop shop.  The first two albums I ever bought were Monkees albums.  A new record store called Music Coop had just opened up in my small town and John Brenes, the man who owned it, had great taste, knowledge and service. I was a fanatic for The Monkees and John happened to have two albums in stock priced at $4 each.  My mom, being a single mother only had $6 on her but wanted me to have those records.  John told her that was no problem and sold them to us for $6.  That small gesture kept us coming back for more than 20 years.  Sacrificing that $2 brought him many thousands of dollars worth of business.  My family stayed loyal until he packed up and moved to Portland, Oregon.

Since then I've bought mostly online.  I guess that makes me part of the reason retailers don't care. I've retreated to the comfort of my office chair and buy anything and everything I want online.  The "big box" retailers probably figure there is no way they can stock everything or seriously compete with Amazon or iTunes or whatever so they just do a half-assed job and stock some new stuff and a few hits and hope that you pick up a big screen TV or new dryer while you're looking for the new Milli Vanilli CD.   If I had just gotten off my butt to support the record stores before so many of them did their disappearing act, maybe I could have saved the $142 in gas it cost me in gas to drive the 30 mile round trip to Hollywood and back.  And maybe Jennie would be enjoying a Carolyn Wonderland CD instead of listening to me bitch about the sad state of the music retail biz.